My child started asking questions about divorce: what can I do?

 

After your spouse sends you divorce papers out of the blue, you have numerous questions. The problem is that you barely have time to figure out the situation yourself because your child might start expressing his own thoughts and doubts sooner than anticipated, but how can you explain divorce to a minor who does not have the ability to understand fully adult decisions? The answer is with honesty and calm. If the situation seems a little overwhelming for you, imagine how lost your kid might feel. As a parent, you have the responsibility to protect him and help him interpret certain things around him that might affect his life both on the short and on the long term. Just remember that a child does not know how to spare your feelings and his questions might prove to be very emotional and heartbreaking. For this reason, you need to prepare in advance for such a delicate and difficult conversation or “interrogation”.

Avoid sharing details of your divorce with your child

The truth is that you need to split in two different personalities: the adult going through a divorce who needs to hire an experienced lawyer from Achrman Law, negotiate with the other party while maintaining a good communication and relationship for the sake of the little one and the parent who needs to continue providing for his child, explain him the meaning of divorce while keeping him away from the legal procedure as much as possible. Your child does not have to know the terms imposed by the other parent and other similar things. He just wants to know that you will love him like you did before this entire chaos. He will ask normal questions because he senses that something is not right, that something has changed and you should never try to hide these things from them. Of course, you cannot give him all the unnecessary details because he is a minor and he does not have the maturity to analyze such things so considering the age of your kid is extremely important.

Be patient and calm when providing suitable answers for his age

Remember of that time when he asked you how babies are made. It resembles perfectly that moment. You have to do the same and come up with an answer that is close to reality without disturbing your child with adult content. You can tell him the obvious, that you and the other parent no longer live in the same home, but that you stay in touch and he can see you both. The main idea is to answer honestly while keeping your calm. Patience is golden in such times. The legal procedure can be stressful so you have to make sure that you do not retaliate on the biggest victim, your innocent child. The most important thing during a divorce is to be an active listener because your kid might not be able to express himself clearly, but you should be able to figure out his needs.