How to Maintain Sexual Desire in Your Marriage

Getting married is something most people wish for, even though we know maintaining a marriage isn’t by far an easy feat. One of the main problems leading to the dissolution of marriages is the disappearance of desire between the two partners, or the lack of interest in sexual intimacy from one of the spouses. While it’s true that over time the passion wears down, and you no longer have that uncontrollable desire to be with the other person, it is also true that this is caused by the people themselves. For a relationship to work, you have to work at it, and never let it go in a rut. In what follows we are going to discuss the main problems that affect a long-term couple’s sexual life and how we can solve or avoid them.

Say No to Routine

If all your intimate moments always occur in the same place (the bedroom, for most), you options and inspiration will be limited as well. Whether you want it or not, you’ll start having a routine and doing the same things every time; while some routine is good for couples, because it helps them where they want to get faster, and because knowing what your partner likes makes it easier to satisfy them, it can also have a bad effect on your desire and sexual attraction. So try to spice things up a little; besides trying new places around the house, you could also do something special now and then, like getting a hotel room and spending a romantic and passionate night together in a new decorum. Life problems can also affect a couple’s desire to have intercourse; job,  money, or health problems can decrease your sexual desire, but if you keep avoiding to be intimate, it may become harder and harder to go back to a normal sex life with your partner.

Stay Fresh and Positive

It can be a bad idea to put pressure on your sex life and wish for it to be like in the beginning of the relationship; while it’s not at all impossible to feel the same desire as you did then, feeling it all the time is less likely. Instead, you should create achievable and positive goals. Make it your goal to have a good time in bed, with no pressure and no inhibitions; try talking more in bed and getting more feedback from your partner. Although it sounds as though it may interrupt the passion, a bit of talk can make it more fun, and even more sexual. Try sex games, like one where one of the partner makes all the rules, and the other is supposed to obey them, and then switch roles. Remember that it is more important to give pleasure rather than receive it; sometimes, it all the feedback you need to get in the right mood and spike up your desire levels.

For older couples, health issues may also come to affect their sex life; men might experience softer erections and the women’s libido can decrease with age. Try to be understanding of these changes and discuss them; making accusations and gathering up frustration isn’t going to help anyone, but trying new things and being open minded in bed will definitely bring forth good results.